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leepin99

Joined:

Oct 07

Posts: 91

leepin99 says:

Rubbish jokes 1

Black swan goes into a bar, sits down orders a pint..15 minutes later a bloke walks in and looks at the black swan..bloody ell, just bin a pub that was named after you..black swan looks at him like hes backward and sez..what? Alan?

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  • Posted 7 years ago (24 October 2007 18:55)

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fuzzrr

Joined:

Sep 06

Posts: 8579

fuzzrr says:

.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree???????

 

 

 

He was stapled to the fridge!

Well you said crap jokes!!!!!:upset:

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scorps

Joined:

Jan 03

Posts: 3072

scorps says:

heard about the man

who got run over by a steam locamotive?

wait for it

 

 

 

 

 

its good

 

 

 

 

 

really it is

 

 

 

 

 

 

he was chuffed to bits:lol:

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keithg24

Joined:

Aug 02

Posts: 450

keithg24 says:

Jokes

A horse walks into a bar , the Landlord says

 

 

 

 

Why the long face??

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Boult

Joined:

Mar 07

Posts: 3215

Boult says:

How..

do you know when a blonde has been at your word-processor?

 

 

 

 

 

Tippex on the screen....:lol:

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grimreaperjx

Joined:

Sep 07

Posts: 195

grimreaperjx says:

woman and a baby

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. As she pays for her ticket, the bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You shouldn't take that. You tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey

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grimreaperjx

Joined:

Sep 07

Posts: 195

grimreaperjx says:

nice bar

The first says: "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The second then starts: "That sounds like a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one called Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
Then the third pipes up. "You think that's good? Where I come from, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That sounds fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?" "No," replies their friend, "but it happened to my sister!"

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keithg24

Joined:

Aug 02

Posts: 450

keithg24 says:

Crap jokes

On a flight to New York, a blonde goes from econony to first class and sits down. The trolly dolly asks for her ticket and says I am sorry madam but you only have an economy ticket, you must move.

I am blonde I am beautiful and I am not moving says the blonde.

The senior td asks the same question and gets the same answer. The cabin steward goes along, asks the same question and gets the same answer.

In desperation, they ask the Captain to come along. He asks the blonde the same question and gets the same answer.

He then whispers something in her ear. She instantly gets up and goes back to her seat.

The cabin staff are amazed, how did you do that they exclaim.

Simple he says, I told her first class didn't go to |New York 

 

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grimreaperjx

Joined:

Sep 07

Posts: 195

grimreaperjx says:

A blonde's brain at work

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette one day, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss.
She quietly sneaks out of the house and vows to return home at her normal time the next day.
In the morning, the brunette says: "That was fun, we should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

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grimreaperjx

Joined:

Sep 07

Posts: 195

grimreaperjx says:

car crossed lovers

A woman and a man driver are involved in a horrific collision, but amazingly both escape completely unhurt - though their cars are written off.
As they crawl out of the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and strikingly beautiful. Then the woman turns to the man and gushes breathily: 'That's incredible - both our cars are demolished but we're fine. It must be a sign from God that we are meant to be together!'
Sensing a promise, the man stammers back, 'Oh yes, I agree with you completely!'
The woman goes on, 'And look, though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine survived intact, too! It must be another sign. Let's drink to our love!'
'Well, OK!' says the man, going with the moment. She offers him the bottle, so he downs half of it and hands it back.
'Your turn,' says the man.
'No, thanks,' says the woman, 'I think I'll just wait for the police.'

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leepin99

Joined:

Oct 07

Posts: 91

leepin99 says:

What have

i started.....two owls playing pool, one owl fouls on the white and the ref sez ' two hits'..

Other owl, not paying attention sez ......here we go....

'2 its to who'

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