Awesome story, here's the UK's version...
It's 8am and pi**ing down with rain (again). British summertime and the weathers still more unpredictable than a rhino on acid. I roll the bike to the end of the street because if not the neighbours have a hissy fit because the (standard) cans too loud. I'm in ASBO territory. Kids have nicked the hanging baskets again. Coppers don't care.
I stop at the newsagents where there’s a 400 yard diesel spill outside and nearly fall off. I go to buy MCN but on seeing Stoners winning again (boo and all that) I put it back. The place is full of kids buying fags so I depart to find it’s raining even heavier.
I cross the lights and to my horror see 3 bikes exactly the same as mine being ridden by twa*ts at obscene speeds down the road. I nod to the custom biker who ignores me because he thinks I just want to race everything. Bugger. Geeks in cars are everywhere but the road works have brought the road to a standstill for 9 miles rendering the average speed cameras useless.
Onto the scenic roads of Derbyshire where every bend is a gamble because ‘the fuzz’ are using horse boxes, workers vans and badgers as speed traps (but crime is up!!!!). Crossing the border into Nottinghamshire I get stopped (again) and given safety advice and my third yellow vest of the week. God damn it.
Speed cameras all over Nottingham (speed kills ya know?) make riding and not hitting anyone good fun as I try to keep 30mph in driving rain and a misty visor with a BMW right up my ar*e. A Policeman makes me jump as he signals me to pull over to tell me about the size of my number plate and how wiping my visor can be considered ‘dangerous driving’. He gives me a yellow vest and I’m on my way.
I get to the office and am appalled by the lack of bike parking in the city and the fact that there’s still a chance some dickhead somewhere will still insist on charging bikes for congestion even though………….well, I give up on that one.
Finally I get a coffee and sit at my desk soaking because the 100% water proof jacket apparently isn’t at all. I flick MCN on the internet and find out ShaKey Burns is winning the BSB by 6 million points and nobody finds this just a little odd.
By the way I live in the UK and it’s shite.
(We know it's true but we wouldn't stop biking for anyone. That's what makes us all better than them.)