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Bill-the-Fish

Joined:

Oct 07

Posts: 31

Leaving your partner - Do's & Don'ts

Thinking of chucking it all in. Any tips on what to do, what not to do (before, on the day, and after)?  I don't want a fight, but neither do I want to just roll over & let her have what she wants.  :upset:

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  • Posted 6 years ago (21 July 2009 20:33)

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ninjachica

Joined:

Jul 08

Posts: 4518

ninjachica says:

ouch

"thinking" of chucking it all in?  Does that mean 'hoping' the other side of the fence is greener?

If it really isn't working - get out now, before children get in the way (assuming they aren't already!)  No point in staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy (ever).

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MrHarlequin

Joined:

Aug 02

Posts: 2541

MrHarlequin says:

I asked the same once

Not on a forum though, just asked a friend.  Her response is below - hope it helps:

The problem is all inside your head", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Ooo slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
and get yourself free

Slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

And if you want more constructive advice - DON'T ASK ON A BLOODY MOTORCYCLE FORUM!

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MattyC83

Joined:

May 09

Posts: 76

MattyC83 says:

do's and don'ts

Do your partner berfore you dump her, then don't regret it after! :biggrin::lol::ph43r::lol::biggrin:

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tsgv

Joined:

Jan 09

Posts: 278

tsgv says:

Make

a list of all the stuff you bought before you got together (as its legally yours) the rest since you have been together can be decided on.
When you let her know dont whip out the list see if she wants to make a list of her own of what she would like to take etc, spend a few days at your friends house to let her simmer down (take photos of everything incase she goes mental and wrecks the place)

Do you have a mortgage together, if not then your lucky if you do then see if you can buy her out or get her to buy you out, when you have made all of these decision then inform the solicitors of the out come (so its documented get her to sign something so there isnt any comeback etc in the future) as people friends manipulate them to do nasty things as it "wasnt their fault"

On how to do it i have no idea but might be best to write a letter and hand it to her in person with a cup of tea on the brew (make sure she has sugar), if it gets violent just walk away do not argue back, if she is this type of person then get all of your personal valuables (photos, birth certs etc) and put them in a box in the boot of the car.

All the best!

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WizardsSleeve

Joined:

Apr 09

Posts: 51

Hmmmmm

Tough one....

Say if she'll do ass to mouth the you'll marry her...do the very dirty deed and then burst out laughing saying only kidding...we're splitting up....then run fast, run far.


There....sorted.

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spondonste

Joined:

Aug 02

Posts: 2770

spondonste says:

break ups

you're the one who knows your partner so you're the o nly one who can judge if a particular approach is the right one or not.

 

Your comment about chucking it all in can be read as either your not sure or you've made your mind up. If you're not sure then you have to understand whats making you unhappy and talk to her about them.

If you've decided that you don't want to continue things then other factors may come in to play (do you co habit and if so who owns the house? do either of you have kids? is one party financially dependent on the other? how long have you been together? do you have joint bank accounts? etc). If there's no commitment keeping you together and you can have a clean break then its up to you how and when you should let her know. Being truthful with yourself and your partners is the only advice I'd give and that includes not dragging someone along if you decided not to continue with the relationship.

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Bramley Bim

Joined:

Dec 07

Posts: 207

Bramley Bim says:

"Thinking"

As Spondonste says - are you not sure? If so you do need to think about whether its just a blip or if you can never get things back on track.  If you've not been talking - or just rowing? - maybe take some time out and go somewhere that's neutral territory where you can be together and discuss what you each want and if there's a way to go ahead together.  Try and stay calm and remember that if its all out the blue for her then there will be tears & accusations. 

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