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mobileenoph

Joined:

Jun 07

Posts: 1988

mobileenoph says:

Time to start a new 'Jokes' thread

Since the old one is now full of blank pages.

 

_______________________________________________

 

Best chat up line of 2011 as voted for by loose women

"I might only have a small dick but I can lick the crumb's from the bottom of a Pringles tin"  :tongue:

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  • Posted 4 years ago (26 February 2011 16:47)

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mobileenoph

Joined:

Jun 07

Posts: 1988

mobileenoph says:

.

.An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.

"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."

The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

 

[This Reply has been modified by the Author]

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SpartanMart

Joined:

Apr 10

Posts: 32

SpartanMart says:

hey hey

Why don't the sanitary towels talk to the tampons???

 

Coz they're stuck up cunts!

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mobileenoph

Joined:

Jun 07

Posts: 1988

mobileenoph says:

camp fire

Paul, Phil and Steve were sitting around the camp fire discussing who was the hardest.
Paul says "I killed a bear with my bare hands"
Steve says "Thats nothing, I wrestled two adult crocodiles, gouged out both their eyes and killed them both"
Phil just sat there saying nothing, poking the fire with his cock....... :fine

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KWAKZ750S

Joined:

Aug 08

Posts: 514

KWAKZ750S says:

maternity unit

Little Glasgow wifie has just given birth, when the doctor says to her "Well Mrs McTavish, I've got some good news and some bad news for you".

 

The woman says " Give me the bad news first then".

 

Well, says the doctor, "I'm afraid your baby is...eh.  well...ginger"

 

The woman says " Oh!,...and what's the goodd news?"

 

The doc replied " Oh, it was still born"

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mobileenoph

Joined:

Jun 07

Posts: 1988

mobileenoph says:

Street names

If I ever get the chance to name a street I'd call it "Skin road"
Just so I could laugh at the people living at number 4..... :shock::censored

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mobileenoph

Joined:

Jun 07

Posts: 1988

mobileenoph says:

,,,,,

The farmer's wife bends over as she gathers the fruits of the field. Seeing her in such an inviting position, the farmer walks over, lifts her skirt and quickly comes inside her. His wife remains completely silent. The young farm hand comes wandering by and is equally stimulated by the posture of the farmer's wife, so he does the same thing as the farmer and is finished just as quickly. The farmer's wife remains completely silent. Along comes the donkey and he too is turned on by the sight of the farmer's wife bent over in the field. After he has finished off, the farmer's wife bends down a little further and says: "Hey, you with the furry boots! Leave your number."       
                                                                            :censored

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albert88

Joined:

Jan 10

Posts: 1647

albert88 says:

joke?

whats brown and runs around a garden?....a fence.soz but it made me chuckle

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babyrocket

Joined:

Aug 11

Posts: 3732

babyrocket says:

dick

I bought one of them penis pumps, what a complete waste of money

I've still got a little dick, and now none of my shoes fit!

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KWAKZ750S

Joined:

Aug 08

Posts: 514

KWAKZ750S says:

what is

eight inches long and starts with a P?

 

 

A jobby

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richy225

Joined:

Oct 11

Posts: 7

richy225 says:

football

christmas is coming, rooneys getting fat, ronaldo is a loser and gigsy is a twat, ferdinan is a coke head, his nostrols getting bigger, scholes is a tosser an evra is a nigger.

merry christmas from john terry

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