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mobileenoph

Joined:

Jun 07

Posts: 1990

mobileenoph says:

Time to start a new 'Jokes' thread

Since the old one is now full of blank pages.

 

_______________________________________________

 

Best chat up line of 2011 as voted for by loose women

"I might only have a small dick but I can lick the crumb's from the bottom of a Pringles tin"  :tongue:

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  • Posted 4 years ago (26 February 2011 16:47)

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RogerRSV

Joined:

Jul 09

Posts: 314

RogerRSV says:

Last night..........

I asked my missus if she liked rape jokes.


She shouted 'No!'.............................but I know she really meant yes.

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KWAKZ750S

Joined:

Aug 08

Posts: 514

KWAKZ750S says:

After

being sent to jail, I spent the next hour being held face down over a table and violently buggered.  Sometimes I think my Uncle Peter takes this Monopoly game a bit too seriously.

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Boult

Joined:

Mar 07

Posts: 3215

Boult says:

One from

Edinburgh festival :


"I'll tell you what gives kids a bad name......Posh and Becks"
:lol::ph43r::lol:

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KWAKZ750S

Joined:

Aug 08

Posts: 514

KWAKZ750S says:

Biggest joke in Edinburgh

at the moment is our fucking council

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mobileenoph

Joined:

Jun 07

Posts: 1990

mobileenoph says:

My...

...Sex change operation from male to female went really well yesterday, It was so successful I'm still trying to reverse out of the hospital car park....:tongue:

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mobileenoph

Joined:

Jun 07

Posts: 1990

mobileenoph says:

My..

..Missus has asked for something silky for her birthday....

No doubt this tin of emulsion will be the wrong fookin colour....:mellow:

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RogerRSV

Joined:

Jul 09

Posts: 314

RogerRSV says:

I was arguing.........

with one of my mates on the subjects of oxygen and numbers.


It was all getting very heated so he told me to 'take a deep breath and count to ten'.

..................................cunt.

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KWAKZ750S

Joined:

Aug 08

Posts: 514

KWAKZ750S says:

Glasgow Wifie

phones for an ambulance.

 

" Ahm goin inte labour, my watters hub broken" she screams.

The operator asks " where are ye ringin frae"

woman replies " Ahm ringing frae ma fanny tae ma feet"

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KWAKZ750S

Joined:

Aug 08

Posts: 514

KWAKZ750S says:

After the Glasgow wife has given birth

The doctor tells her he has good news and bad news for her.

" Well ye'd' better gie me the bad news first"

The doctor tells her " I'm afraid yer baby, is....well....how can I put this?....Eh....It's Ginger ahm afraid"

The woman burst into tears and says, " So whit's the good news?"

" Oh!" says the doctor, " It wis still born"

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KWAKZ750S

Joined:

Aug 08

Posts: 514

KWAKZ750S says:

Statistically

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

6 out of 7 dwarves aren'y happy

and only 1 out of 7 dwarves is grumpy

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