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mobileenoph

Joined:

Jun 07

Posts: 1990

mobileenoph says:

Time to start a new 'Jokes' thread

Since the old one is now full of blank pages.

 

_______________________________________________

 

Best chat up line of 2011 as voted for by loose women

"I might only have a small dick but I can lick the crumb's from the bottom of a Pringles tin"  :tongue:

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  • Posted 4 years ago (26 February 2011 16:47)

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Valko

Joined:

May 12

Posts: 129

Valko says:

the worst SMS you can receive

is "Sorry I am leaving you today", how much bad it can be?

Receiving second SMS: "Sorry darling the previous message was not for you..." :lol:

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Yamark69

Joined:

Feb 12

Posts: 201

Yamark69 says:

Dyslexic

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa.....

Or the dyslexic atheist who didn't believe in Dog

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ANichol

Joined:

Aug 02

Posts: 997

ANichol says:

or

the dyslexic girl who loved Alan. Her match.com profile was very popular

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RogerRSV

Joined:

Jul 09

Posts: 309

RogerRSV says:

My friend...........

was making a bowl of Cos lettuce, chicken, garlic sauce, croutons and parmesan cheese when he had an epileptic fit......................seizure salad.

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RogerRSV

Joined:

Jul 09

Posts: 309

RogerRSV says:

My friend is a DJ and..........

recently bought an allotment. Every night he's on his turntables in amongst his vegetables.


"lettuce turnip the beat".

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brutale r

Joined:

Dec 07

Posts: 3248

brutale r says:

england

The England team visited an orphanage in Poland...
"It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope"
.
.
.
.
.

said Igor, age 6

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mobileenoph

Joined:

Jun 07

Posts: 1990

mobileenoph says:

....

A man goes to confession and says,"forgive me father,last night i made love to 21yr old twin sisters,in positions that i think are illegal,over an over again!
:shock:the priest thinks for a minute and says "my son, buy 7 lemons an squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it".....
"Will this cleanse me of my sin?"  he asked
"NO" said the priest, "But it will wipe that fooking smile off ya face,"     :biggrin:

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babyrocket

Joined:

Aug 11

Posts: 3732

babyrocket says:

err

what's the hardest part of a sex change?
getting the cheese to smell like tuna..

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Yamark69

Joined:

Feb 12

Posts: 201

Yamark69 says:

I went to bed....

last night with a girl with a plastercine fanny. Didn't actually manage to get my cock inside her but I think I made a good impression

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Yamark69

Joined:

Feb 12

Posts: 201

Yamark69 says:

My wife's sister...

knocked me out yesterday. I was so fuckin angry!

What kind of sick bitch puts chloroform on her dirty knickers?

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