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mobileenoph

Joined:

Jun 07

Posts: 1878

mobileenoph says:

Time to start a new 'Jokes' thread

Since the old one is now full of blank pages.

 

_______________________________________________

 

Best chat up line of 2011 as voted for by loose women

"I might only have a small dick but I can lick the crumb's from the bottom of a Pringles tin"  :tongue:

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  • Posted 3 years ago (26 February 2011 16:47)

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ulsterflyer

Joined:

Jun 10

Posts: 145

ulsterflyer says:

joke

its hard being a decorator in this politically correct world i can no longer say black paint i now have to say please paint that wall Leroy

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  • Posted 3 years ago (22 March 2011 19:26)
ulsterflyer

Joined:

Jun 10

Posts: 145

ulsterflyer says:

joke

10 priests die in a serious car crash they get to the gates  of heaven and st peter says if any off you are paedophiles you can about turn and walk away 9 of them then turn and start to walk away st peter shouts out and u can the deaf cunt with u to

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  • Posted 3 years ago (22 March 2011 19:35)
ulsterflyer

Joined:

Jun 10

Posts: 145

ulsterflyer says:

joke

a bloke went to the doctors complaining of strange voices coming from his pants the doc said ignore them they're talking bollocks

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  • Posted 3 years ago (22 March 2011 19:40)
ulsterflyer

Joined:

Jun 10

Posts: 145

ulsterflyer says:

joke

saw a fat bird walking down the street this morning she was wearing a t shirt with the words i love hip hop on it i think the letters c&s must have fallen off

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  • Posted 3 years ago (22 March 2011 19:45)
ulsterflyer

Joined:

Jun 10

Posts: 145

ulsterflyer says:

joke

paddy and mick sat having a pint a lorry goes past with rolls of turf on paddy say to mick im gonna do that when i win the lottery mick say what drive a wagon paddy says no u silly twat send my grass to be cut

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  • Posted 3 years ago (22 March 2011 19:50)
ulsterflyer

Joined:

Jun 10

Posts: 145

ulsterflyer says:

joke

just been arrested the police apparently wrapping your cock in the beano an wanking on the bus cannot be classed as comic relief

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  • Posted 3 years ago (22 March 2011 19:56)
ulsterflyer

Joined:

Jun 10

Posts: 145

ulsterflyer says:

joke

paddy an murphy swap sandwiches at work paddy spits it out an says what the bloody hell was on that murphy answers crab paste paddy says where did u get that murphy repiles saw it on offer when i was in the chemist 

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  • Posted 3 years ago (22 March 2011 20:07)
ulsterflyer

Joined:

Jun 10

Posts: 145

ulsterflyer says:

joke

my daughter just walked into the living room an said  cancel my allowance trash my bedroom throw all my clothes out the window take my door and  car keys away and kick me out of the house well she didn't actualy put it like that she said was dad  say hello to mohamed

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  • Posted 3 years ago (22 March 2011 20:16)
ulsterflyer

Joined:

Jun 10

Posts: 145

ulsterflyer says:

joke

i'm in trouble with the wife we were in bed naked an she says to me what would you like to do most with my body apparently identify it wasnt the answer she was expecting

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  • Posted 3 years ago (22 March 2011 20:21)
ulsterflyer

Joined:

Jun 10

Posts: 145

ulsterflyer says:

joke

the insurance side of sex  sex with your wife legal an general ,sex with your future wife mutual trust ,  sex with long term partner standart life , sex with your secretary employer's liability , sex with a prostitute commercial union , sex on the phone direct line , casual sex with different partners go compare , and the last one , sex with a lady boy confused. com 

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  • Posted 3 years ago (22 March 2011 20:42)

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