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badcompanybiker

Joined:

Mar 12

Posts: 85

Ways of teaching thieves a lesson

Just a thought which i always have when i have my blood boiling thinking of them ... what are your most fantasised ways of teaching bike thieves a lesson should you catch them and the police say you have 'diplomatic immunity' (in the voice of the south african guy off of lethal weapon) ?

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  • Posted 2 years ago (03 November 2012 19:50)

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old(ish)git

Joined:

Apr 08

Posts: 9602

old(ish)git says:

Commnity Service.....

it works every time.....at least that's what I'd plead for after I'd bludgeoned the *****s to Death.:ph43r:

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badcompanybiker

Joined:

Mar 12

Posts: 85

thought you had gone soft

thought you went soft for a minute then haha , so bludgeoning is your choice eh ? 

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old(ish)git

Joined:

Apr 08

Posts: 9602

old(ish)git says:

No....

too extreme...it would have to be something in between 'Oi you, please leave my bike alone' and 'Sorry officer, I don't know what came over me'.:sunglasses:

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fogie

Joined:

Jan 04

Posts: 826

fogie says:

scumbag thieves?

I've put this up before.. Chines Street Justice..... followed by a bullet to the side of the head. If you're at all squeamish, DON'T LOOK. 


Yep, I love thieves   :ph43r:

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badcompanybiker

Joined:

Mar 12

Posts: 85

fogie

hmm brilliant justice system , but seems a bit to soft for me , you know working everyday to buy a bike to have it stolen and then still have to pay the 2000 pound loan i had to take out on my insurance premium seems to be a bit of a catalyst for my usual relaxed cool self who can control himself whenever , to suddenly become a bastard if i caught them , il post a reply with my fantasy soon after a few more replies mwahahaha ...:sunglasses:

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ninjachica

Joined:

Jul 08

Posts: 4365

ninjachica says:

Stocks

There are bike meets here every weekend during the summer (March to Oct/Nov).

It would be pretty cool, to stick bike thieves in stocks, and let everyone do their own thing.

If you were squeamish, you could throw tomatoes, if you had had a bike nicked, you could throw melons!

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badcompanybiker

Joined:

Mar 12

Posts: 85

ninjachica

i really like that idea , me personally would like to throw grapefruits but meh...  that is a very very very good idea !

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philehidiot

Joined:

Feb 09

Posts: 4739

philehidiot says:

Personally

I feel none of you have the calm, psychopathic minds required to pull this off properly. Violence just lacks any.... artistry.


Consider a hole surgically drilled into ones skull and an eye carefully removed. Something such as jam placed into the eye socket and around the hole drilled into the skull (talking about 1-1.5cm across). The other eye should be left intact so the person can get a rough idea of what's crawling over them.

The subject should then be placed in a nice warm jungle setting and tied up next to dense forest.

Pretty sure the death from being eaten alive by bugs infesting your eye socket, gnawing at your optic nerve and flesh in the eye socket and also your brain, plus the effect of them treading dirt inside the hole and around your skull would be quite... unsettling.

Then of course there's the little matter of what to do if they'd stolen more than one bike.

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James600zx

Joined:

Sep 07

Posts: 2798

James600zx says:

From a victim of bike theft.

It's hard to know how to make the punishment fit the crime when you've moved away from family and friends in search of work, studied, passed exams, worked 12-hour night shifts in shitty jobs, commuted long distances, paid extortionate housing rents, paid all your taxes and insurance, finally bought something nice for yourself and then some idle, no mark, scumbag decides to take it from you. A bullet, perhaps.

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sprag

Joined:

Aug 02

Posts: 2491

sprag says:

I enjoyed the video

esp. toward the end where one of the guys used a chunk of brick to smash the thieving tossers fingers. That should keep him from trying to nick stuff for a while.

My own fantacy for dealing with a thief is to stretch the bastard over a bench then nail the scumbags hands to the top of it and nail the thieving tossers feet to the legs of the bench to prevent too much movement. Have a length of 1inch iron bar heating up over a fire/blowtorch or whatever then when good and red hot 'gently' insert the hot end up the arse of the bastard. Get it about 6inches up then give it a good wiggle about to ensure the bastard gets the message about thieving. Having had a number of bikes nicked over the years I feel strongly about the scummers who do it and YES I'm an evil minded bastard and would cheerfuly carry out this punishment if I thought I could get away with it. :winkie:

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