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General Anti-bike Neighbour Pub Talk - over 18s only

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Rotop

Joined:

Sep 12

Posts: 124

Rotop says:

Anti-bike Neighbour

A fat shit on my street keeps complainaing that I'm parking my bike on the road, too close to his house, too close to his car, not in an alley (which is shared access) ... yes seriously..


Any ideas how to educate this pizza swallowing turd?

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  • Posted 2 years ago (16 September 2012 04:52)

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KWAKZ750S

Joined:

Aug 08

Posts: 514

KWAKZ750S says:

Violent actions

such as shooting him in the head with a nail gun will do you no good at all, as you would be likely to get sent down for 20 years and by the time you get out he will probably be long dead from a heart attack.  You would be better taking advantage of his obesity, by hiding in the alley, when it is dark and then jumping out and shouting BOO!, thus bringing on the onset of cardiac failure earlier, and with no sign of suspicious death.

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pissedsid

Joined:

Feb 12

Posts: 141

pissedsid says:

lol

KWAKZ   nahhhh it has to be the ripping off of the head thing. sorry.

but the heart attack idea does put it in my mind to wire the fat cunts front door to  the national grid, then stand on his front lawn hurling cat shit through his living room windows

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DazLoczy

Joined:

Apr 12

Posts: 317

DazLoczy says:

Wait

...until it's cold and icy then late at night spread water over his doorstep, fat fuckers fall hard and have crap balance.

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RogerRSV

Joined:

Jul 09

Posts: 306

RogerRSV says:

Irrational bike hating.....

neighbours are a pain. I have always thought of myself as courteous and neighbourly but where I used to live, some hypochondriac fat bitch next door used to waddle out occasionally and comment negatively - I once bastardised Winston Churchill's famous comment when she complained about the start up noise at 10am on a Sunday morning - 'my bike is noisy at the moment as you are ugly, later today it will be silent but you will still be fucking ugly'...............pick the bones out of that one cuntchops!

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pissedsid

Joined:

Feb 12

Posts: 141

pissedsid says:

lmfho

rogerrsv  :lol: seriously good advice not much in the way of ripping heads off and poohing down necks . bit short on nail guns. but the cuntchops is more than making up for that :laugh:

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KWAKZ750S

Joined:

Aug 08

Posts: 514

KWAKZ750S says:

Pissedsid,

Now you're onto something, assuming his leccy meter is outside the house. Fix a puece of wire to a key and kam it in the lock, fix the other end to the live terminal on the meter, then once the screaming has stopped, quietly disconnect the wire from the meter and then remove the key before the ambulance and plod arrive.  Problem solved, and no evidence of any wrongdoing.... sorted

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pissedsid

Joined:

Feb 12

Posts: 141

pissedsid says:

kwakz750

I bow to your superior intellect but i'd like to just empty the cat litter tray through the letter box before the wiring commences  

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