BMW R1200C

James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) rode one of these so they must be cool – right? But then James Bond (Roger Moore) also had a mini-sub with a plastic crocodile’s head on it and it didn’t exactly open up the market for reptilian-lamped off-roaders.

This bauble of a bike is some sort of tribute to the great American cars of the 1950s and ’60s, which is where its inherent problems lie. The thing looks like a pile-up involving a ’57 Chevrolet, a truck full of juke boxes and a Raleigh Chopper.

This is what happens when car design people get involved with motorbikes. It’s not so much badly styled as overstyled. It would be cruel to blame one man for this, but surely, somewhere along the way from concept to showroom, someone could have asked a question along the lines of: " Look, I’m not being funny, but… "